I wasn’t born in a rich family or studied in the best schools. But, with all the difficulties and limitations in my life, I enjoyed the little what I had and always did my best. (I’m not a perfectionist person, but I always try to do better. I try, again, again and again.)

No, I’m not talking about an unhappy past to make you feel compassion or to justify my actions. Just what I want, when I speak of an unhappy past, is just be transparent about who I am. In our relationship, is very important the honesty and transparency, and it’s everything I want when I speak about my past or current, happy or unhappy memories.

Luxury

I’m not obsessed with luxury, I’m a simple girl, a really simple girl. I don’t think more important to buy a dress that costs a year in the supermarket. This is not my priority.

Yes, I’m a woman. I’m a woman and – like a woman – I love dresses and jewelry, as I love flowers.

But I’m not an escort because I like luxury or because I need luxury, or because I think this is important. Survival is important. Fight is important. Have better conditions of life is important. Learning is important. Growing up is important. And these are my priorities.

Quality

My fees are not accessible to all men, I know. However, if the fees were so accessible, the exclusivity – and consequently the quality – is less. I know, and you know too.

House of prostitution

I know because I not started as escort. I was very young and lived in Brazil, when someone invited me to work in Portugal. Yes, I was in a house of prostitution first, and belive me, it wasn’t a good place. (Perhaps is a good place for some men, but not a good place for any woman who works there.)

I had never thought before to work in a house of prostitution, but, you know, when the life is difficult you need to do something.

It was very difficult to get a job in Brazil, mainly because I was very young. I had worked in a “sexphone”, then I worked in a multinational, a good multinational, I loved this work, but I needed leaving this last job because my boss was constantly harassed me.

What is prostitution? Work in a house of prostitution, and to know what I do in a house of prostitution or have a normal job and be prostitute?

I didn’t want to have sex with my boss, and I didn’t had sex with him. I was very young, but very intelligent too, and wasn’t fair to have to do what I didn’t want to keep a job. It was more honest to be a prostitute inside the house of prostitution than outside, with a normal job and a normal life.

But no, when increased the sexual harassment in the company where I worked, I don’t thought to work in this area. Instead, I continued looking for jobs, a normal job.

But it wasn’t so easy and I hadn’t time, I needed a job quickly. I was invited to work in Portugal and, after think, after think so much, I said “Why not?” It was a job. I looked for a job and could have a job. What I couldn’t was waiting for a miracle.

My first job in the sex market

It was my second work in the sex market. My first job was in a sexphone. But in the sexphone my job was talking, talking about sex, simulate without physical contact. My voice, all they needed was my voice and my imagination.

I was very young and I didn’t have much sexual experience – 3 sexual experience in this time -, but I had a good voice and a creative mind. I had what they needed, and they had what I needed: a job.

My second job in the sex market

Working in a house of prostitution wasn’t like work talking about sex on the phone. There was the look, the feel, the sexual act, and no freedom.

It was the hardest part: I hadn’t my freedom. The men chose and I couldn’t say “I don’t want”, I had to have sex with anyone who chose me.

The fees were low, the house of prostitution earned a share of my fees and I needed do sex with several men by night to earn a reasonable amount.

So I know, I know what happens at a meeting in a house of prostitution isn’t something with quality and beauty. After making it many times, the act becomes mechanical and the people become numbers. I was a number, and they also turned a number for me.

Reflections about sex

But I often questioned myself: Why?

- Why be in a place where the sex was something mechanical?

- Why be in a place where I turned just a number, and men a number too?

- Why sex and relationships could not be good for two people?

What I think about sex and relationships

What I think is… In a sexual relationship between two people, sex should be good for both. If the sex is good for only one of two people, it was not sex, was a masturbation, someone masturbate with the body of another.

When you have a sexual relationship … You haven’t only a sex, you have I relationship too. First, before a sex relationship, have a relationship. And if you have a relationship – relationship is relationship, with or without sex – is very important the mutual respect, because, first, before you are sexual people are human beings.

When you enter in the house of another person, you must be invited or know that another person want receive you, otherwise you will be an attacker or robber. When you enter in the body or in a life of another person, you must be invited or know that another person want receive you, otherwise you will be a rapist.

Just because you pay doesn’t mean that you have been invited. Because the money can buy many things, including sex, but can’t buy the desire and wish of another person.

How can a woman want a man, really want a man, understand his individuality, seeing how he is unique, when she was with so many men before him this same day? How to make your body feel desire, when your body is tired? How to understand the individuality of a man, when you have so many men?

When I changed my life

I never studied in the best schools, but I was always very intelligent, I read many books and I love to learn.

I’m beautiful, discreet, friendly, honest, I respect people.

Even when I worked in a home of prostitution, I had respect for people. Even when I didn’t like my work, I care well people because, after all, they weren’t the fault of my problems or because I didn’t like my work. This was my problem, not the problem them, so I respect them.

But I questioned myself: Why not be different? Why can’t meet with men who I really want? Why this relationship can’t be a good relationship, a really good relationship?

So I moved, changed everything, changed all my life.

Not so fast. I needed to leave the house of prostitution, but I didn’t want problems with pimps and traffickers of people.

Independence and a new life

But one day I did. I become an independent escort, alone, away from house of prostitution. I started to choose my clients and I met wonderful people. People who I respect. People who respect me too. People who I like and people who like me too.

Today

When I worked in a house of prostitution, I rented my body. But now I’m an escort, and I rented my time, only my time.

For some people maybe my time isn’t cheap. But I worked in a house of prostitution before, and I can say you: Today is different, quality is different. If I am with so many men in a day, is not the same if I am with one man. And now I don’t want quantity, I want quality. Now I can want quality, not quantity. Now I don’t need to live what I lived in houses of prostitution. Now I can be free.

I’m not complaining of my past, I’m a positive person and everything is learning.

When I worked in sexphone, I learned to listen, listen and understand. Many people (can) speak, but not all people (can) listen.

Today I have the best men in my life and I have freedom, I can to be with who I want and do what I want.

But remember the past, remember that one day when the past was very different, don’t make me bitter or sad. Remember this unhappy past, make me value so much what I have today.

I knew bad men, because this I can appreciate good men I have today. I had an unhappy past, because this I can appreciate my present, I can appreciate all things in my life, not only the big things, but the small things too, everything has a great meaning for me.